I have my NGC brother's number blocked and tonight he called three times just minutes apart. The phone rings once, then he gets a message that tells callers I'm not taking calls at this time. He isn't given the option of leaving a message, but his number comes up on my call display.
My cousin hasn't heard from him so we both assume there's nothing going on with the NPs.
So this guy who trashes my DD and me almost daily, via emails to my cousin, suddenly wants to speak with me?
He knows full well this is the fourth anniversary of my husband's death. Maybe he was hoping for a chance to kick me when I was down!
Of course, I didn't return the calls. Fuck him!
It's over nine months since their doormat got up off the floor and walked away. Will they EVER give up?
Not always funny
45 minutes ago
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to deal with an intrusion from your brother at such a personal and emotional date in your life. It's like the Ns can smell blood in the water and they just can't stay away or keep from poking to see if they can get a tasty reaction.
ReplyDeleteI like the blocked phone message of "not taking calls" ... I'd always wondered what happened on the other end of the line when a number is blocked.
A few months ago when we were getting repeated calls at 3am from my sweetie's out of control N former wife, we finally (in desperation) forwarded our number to one of her flying monkey lieutenant family members for the duration of the night. We got a chuckle to imagine how that was received.
It's too bad we can't literally block these people along with all their bad intentions.
Hang in there! I hope he eventually gets tired of his game...or maybe someone else in his life will piss him off enough for him to switch targets :)
Love the idea of forwarding the calls!
DeleteBy the time he called last night he would have been too drunk/stoned to realize all he had to do was block his own number in order to get through. I never answer blocked or private numbers but they can still leave a message.
I would imagine he'll be ape shit today because he couldn't get at me but it will all land on my cousin who still labours under the delusion that you can have a relationship with an N if you walk on eggshells.
Hugs mulderfan. Three deep breaths. If he is anything like that Ns in my life he probably doesn't remember the date or what it means to you, just their egocentric timing. Sending caring thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteNope. They won't. Because THIS is WHO they ARE. What matters IMO is your response (which, FWIW) I whole-heartedly endorse.
ReplyDeleteMy sincere condolences on the death/anniversary of your DH. Four years in the life of a griever does not lessen the pain of our loss of a loved-beyond-words spouse. Perhaps the actual visceral response to their death may have lessened over time, but that love, that longing, that empty space in our beds, our homes, our lives reminds us in so many ways large and small on a daily basis the absence of our late DHs.
This Oct. will be 20 yrs. since my DH's death. Because I was a young widow I was given all kinds of unsolicited "advice" primarily consisting of, "You're young. You'll marry again" not only at his service but for years afterwards. Apparently since I've become an AARP member I am now "exempt" from such "advice" as the "Well Intended" were given a behavioral response: I'm STILL a widow, I did NOT remarry and one does NOT "exchange" one DH for another. And their husbands/SO's are "safe" from being "poached" by a younger/"more attractive" woman-THIS was the REAL fear behind this "advice" IMO.
Here's what they didn't "Get:" Love really never does end. And when you've had the best, the rest don't even register on my "Widow Radar." How you choose to spend the Anniversary of Sadness is private, personal and necessary.
To quote a woman whose Blog IS on my Radar," Fuck em!"
TW
Literally, two months after my DH died my NM told me to "stop talking about him and get over it"! I told her I never expected to get over it but hoped I'd learn to cope with it.
DeleteThen a couple of years later, the old bat went postal when the husband of a recently deceased friend asked me to have coffee with him. The man was about 15 years my junior and just wanted to reminisce with someone who knew his wife.
I'll admit I told her about him just to watch her reaction! She is SOOO damn predictable!
Every now and then something will trigger grief just as fresh as the day he died and I just sit and let it wash over me. I consider it nobody's business but my own.
Yep, fuck 'em!
Hi, Mulderfan, I also blocked the NFOO's multiple numbers (home, cell, neighbor's phone numbers, etc.)...only my system gives them a constant beeping like "number out of service". Warning; when I blocked their number, they began to come over (they're only a half-hour away). "Go away; nobody here wants to talk to you" goes right over their heads. If your NGC is ambitious (and close) enough, he too may decide to drop by to MAKE you acknowledge him (that's what my NFOO says).
ReplyDeleteNGC is 50 miles away, doesn't drive and is drunk/high most of the time. Who woulda thought that was a good thing?!?
DeleteI'm cheering for you, MOC - although extremely annoying, very suspicious, and altogether douche-esque, your ability to let it slide off is a remarkable point of progress! When you see this behavior for what it is, it becomes a silly little game easy to refrain from playing. He didn't hook you, which is the best part!
ReplyDeleteKeep on rockin!
upsi
And a "Blessing?" And he's not far from his own death based on his life-choices. Harsh? Oh yes. Biological? Chemical inevitability?
ReplyDeleteTruth? Oh yes.
"Judgement/Value?" No. When you do what you do, you get what you got.
TW's "Rules of Life #2."
Hugs to you, mulderfan. Be extra kind to yourself today.
ReplyDeleteTo paraphrase the inspirational woman who writes this blog: fuck the bastards who try to kick you when your down.
Goddamned chicken bullied is all they are.
My older N brother was killed in an accident about three months before my DH died. I have sent my NPs a card on every anniversary of his death including this last November.
ReplyDeleteNot ONCE have they ever acknowledged the anniversary of my DH's death but I've actually witnessed NM make a huge fuss about losing her son-in-law.
These people are seriously sick!